Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Let’s get some perspective here...

First things first, I need to clear up a potential point of confusion from my previous blog. Whilst working can be disruptive as a student, that doesn't mean that I don’t love what I do. It’s just been hard for me to get my head round work and be as upbeat as I need to be lately.

I stumbled upon this rather amusing comic strip the other day and it gave me some perspective...


Unlike the funny bunny (clearly not my rogue pirate bunny from a few blogs back) it didn’t make me feel small, insignificant and wildly depressed, it just made me realise that in the grand scheme of things, my problems aren’t so big that I can’t overcome them. I can’t say it’s made me anymore organised, but it has given me a renewed vigour for my degree.

Ah, anyway, lots of things to do...

All the best. x

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Life gets in the way...

Life as a student can be hard. At least, elements of can be. Having to work to support studying can be disruptive, but then other things in life can get in the way too.

In the past two months, I've been dealing with a few issues outside of study, which truthfully hasn't made it easy to get on and concentrate. One of these was the unexpected passing of my grandfather, my last remaining grandparent.

It hasn't really sunk in yet, if I'm honest, but I have sometimes found myself dwelling on it. I have found myself thinking about the last few times I saw him and how we were in those times. The last time I saw him was way back in September and looking back, I know that we parted on happy terms. I spoke with him was in January, but it was brief. I do wonder if both of us would have made more effort if we'd known that this would be the last time we had a conversation.

I'm not really a huggy-touchy-feely sort of a gal. I know this and my family and close friends know this. I'm not big on sharing and being openly emotional is something that I really don't deal with very well, in me or other people. I can deal with most emergencies quite calmly. Unless it involves tears, then I’m definitely not the go-to-gal. In spite of this, I hope my grandfather realised how much he was loved, even if I wasn't very good at showing it.

Luckily for me, my cousin, who studies Make-up and Prosthetics (how cool is that?!) in Somerset, came to stay for the weekend after our Gramps passed away. We didn't really talk about him, but we both felt happier knowing we had family around if we needed them. That being said, we both had a busy time of it and not a lot of time to really discuss it. She was here as part of her degree to tour the BBC studios and work at/visit the IMATS (International Make-up Artist Trade Show) at Ally Pally (that's Alexandra Palace, just in case you weren't aware). I too was working at the University wide open day that Saturday. Fortunately, I had a change of scenery this open day, which turned out to be a good thing, as it kept my mind occupied. That being said, I should probably be apologising to anyone who felt that the service received was a little below par.

I recently read something called "What is love?" After you've read it and I explain, even though I never really say it, I think it sort of proves that I do love my dear cousin, who will now forever be known as Kaos... This is due to the wake of it she leaves behind her. And to the left and the right of her. Bless...

"What is love?" a little girl asked her older brother.
"Love is you taking my favourite snack from my backpack every day, but me never changing where I hide it."

I liked this, because I’m better at showing I care by what I do, rather than what I say.

For Kaos I am prepared to stay up until the small hours as coursework support, then get up in the only marginally less small hours to be an alarm clock and be a test model for prototype prosthetics (and letting myself be photographed in them! I don't like photos!) – is this proof that I care? These are things I would do for anyone who truly means anything to me.

But now it is back to cold, hard reality. I still have university work to deal with and the funeral is yet to come. My tutors have been extremely supportive and despite my hesitation to “open up” and wanting to do my usual of “just dealing”, knowing that they are aware of what is going on has made everything a little easier to cope with.

Hopefully, my next post will be a happier post. I would also like to offer my condolences to my fellow blogger and Enquiry Unit assistant, Jerushah, who sadly lost her Uncle P. Big virtual hugs to J. x